InsaneJournal

[fic] Carbon Made - Chapter 1
Fandom: FF8
Characters/Pairings: Rinoa, Quistis, Laguna, Squall, with some obvious Squall/Rinoa
Summary: She wasn't leaving. But she couldn't stay either.
Notes: I've been wanting to write a Rinoa story for a while that addresses some of the issues I had with her role in the game. So when Sev put up a prompt, and well, POINTED ME TO IT, I knew I had my story. Scarily enough, this'll take a few chapters. I think reading all the women's lit lately has helped. XD I am still also probably the only person on the planet that thinks she'd embrace her powers, if given the chance. Title from a Tori Amos song that makes me think of Rin.



"Are you sure about this."

He wasn't glaring, really, but he had started to take on this almost authoritarian air about things. Everyone was so careful with her these days, and it was getting dangerously close to reminding her of the time she twisted her ankle as a kid--no, she wasn't glass.

"I'm not going anywhere dangerous, I do not have a secret boyfriend, and I'm not asking you to change anything."

It wasn't entirely their fault, she had to admit. She'd been acting like such a... damsel, since it all happened. If Xu hadn't snapped at her like she did, she might not have noticed that she'd become the exact opposite of what she'd been trying to prove.

"The safest place is here," he practically muttered.

"Esthar is just as safe." She'd rehearsed the responses.

She was never going to be as put together as Quistis, or persuasive as Selphie, but she was at least going to be something other than "the Commander's girlfriend". Rinoa figured that he'd be glad she was giving him some space.

And then... well, he was... him.

"I'm not leaving, Squall."

It was the tension in the shoulders that gave him away. She didn't know if it was powers or maturity or too many half conversations that had let her notice such things. Maybe a little of both, considering now she just couldn't help noticing the little things about people. And things like scorn and annoyance hurt in ways she hadn't expected.

"We'll stay in contact. I'll write, and you can write back if you want," she continued. He wasn't going to say anything for a bit.

She took his hand. "Besides, I bet you're sick of me hanging out here and distracting you from work and all that."

He squeezed. "I'll get your bag," he replied.

Alright, maybe she did want to cry a little bit. But they were nineteen, and that was just... too young to be settled as one person. If things were meant to be--which was a really unsteady position--then it would turn out alright. If not.

Rinoa didn't want to think about that, not while he was doing that brave silent almost sulky thing.

---

She still loved flying, the wind in her hair as she went out on the deck. Squall had too much to take care of, so he said, but she knew that it took a lot for him to just walk her up to the ship's platform. Rinoa had been starting to wonder about him, whether it had just been all that adrenaline and mixed up feelings from adventure. It was comforting to know that he would miss her. Rinoa had always been the type to look for signs.

"We're about an hour away. You'll have to come inside and buckle up during the landing."

That, and he'd practically sent his best just to escort her on a little flight. She was especially glad he'd sent Quistis; while Selphie would make her laugh, Quistis made her feel... stronger.

"Do you agree with me? Be honest. I haven't really gotten anyone's straight opinion on this."

Quistis let her posture go as she leaned on the railing.

"For you? Well, I don't really object to anyone wanting to understand themselves better, especially in your case."

The side of Quistis's mouth quirked up.

"But for the rest of us, well, we might end up tying Squall up for a while."

Alright, Quistis could make her laugh, too. Especially now that they understood where they stood with each other. Quistis may not have understood the kinds of normalcies that Rinoa sometimes missed, but she understood the voices, the wild feral things at the heart of most magic.

"Might just be easier knocking him out."

"Kadowaki does keep some good tranquilizers."

"...Is he going to be alright, really?"

Quistis took a deep breath. "He should be. I'll keep an eye on him, alright?"

She nodded. "Alright. I'll write you too, if you want."

"You should write Selphie, she'll want to hear about your adventures with 'Sir Laguna'."

Well, Rinoa doubted there would be much 'adventure' anymore. Laguna was a president, which probably meant he'd be tied up with other types of things to do. And since Ellone was going to Garden... well, it was going to be strange. She doubted that he'd be there to greet her, even.

"I won't leave out a single detail."

---

Esthar was so bright. She didn't remember it being so bright. Past the cloak it was all glass and metal, which made everything seem white and glittering in the sun. She had to squint and shield her eyes to see the platform below her, and maybe who was supposed to escort her.

Last chance to turn back and say she was kidding. Quistis would understand. No, no. Rinoa wanted to understand.

Instead, she gripped her necklace and stepped forward. "Hello, I'm--"

"RINOA!"

She smiled. Laguna had actually come to greet her. She shouldn't have doubted that, not for a second. President or not, he was just one of those people. Squall would have turned out very differently if... well. Maybe she shouldn't wish that. Wouldn't want to have to beat women off him, considering.

"I didn't expect you here!"

Selphie was going to be so jealous.

"I'm not that busy not to come show our new VIP around."

She turned back to Quistis. "Well, looks like I'm all set."

Quistis nodded. "I'll be sure to let you know if anything comes up." The natural undertone to that statement made Rinoa worry a little, but that was just how it worked having a boyfriend that went out and fought dangerous things on a regular basis.

"Let's go for a walk!" Rinoa wanted to giggle at Laguna's energy. If he were a character in a comic book she imagine his little speech bubbles would have friendly looking text and lots of exclamation points.

But the absolute first thing she was going to do was pick up some sunglasses.